Week 6 – The Dragon Bus Tour = the best testicles I ever tasted

On the Sunday night we met the rest of our party for the next few weeks. All 2 of them. Luckily Gordon and Sean turned out to be great company, as did our tour guide Andy.

The first day of the trip was out to get our first glimpses of the Great Wall. The section we visited is just outside of Beijing and a very popular tourist stop. It is here that you first see the inscriptions of Chairman Mao’s famous remark that “you cannot be a great man until you have climbed the wall”. The stop at the obligatory jade/gold/tea/souvenir shops make it seem more like a trip to the Great Mall than the Great Wall, but we actually think it should have it’s name changed to the never-ending staircase.

Day two of the tour took us to a much more remote section of the wall at Simitai and WOW!!!!, this is much more like what we expected (and then some). Despite the fact that the staircase just kept going, we reckon we covered about 4 kms and the effort was certainly worth it (don’t forget we’re carrying the kids on our backs here, so it really was breathtaking). To cap it off, we decided to take the fast route back down to the base point and harnessed ourselves up to the flying fox; one kid each. Words won’t do this justice, so I suggest looking at the photos to see just how long this ride down was. If anyone needed any confirmation about how mad we are, then this is their proof. It will stay the family highlight of China forever though.

Day 3 was Chengdu. I probably should leave this part out, as it is a bit of a blur involving some great food and beer, followed by Chinese rice liquer (Baiju I think it is called), followed by more beer/Baiju, followed by making friends with the local who sounded (and looked) like a pirate, followed by more beer/Baiju and this time BBQ steer testicles. I guess you are getting the picture by now. Yep, Tina let me out by myself again. At least I got a lot of milage out of the line “these are definitely the best tasting testicles I have ever eaten”.

Apart from the cultural and culinary adventures, we did visit the emperor’s summer palace and saw deer running on the frozen lake. Nothing like a world of contrasts, eh.

The next day we looped back into Beijing and said goodbye to Gordon who was only joining for this part if the tour. This meant it was just us and Sean now, with effectively our own private guide, fluent in Chinese. Sorry Andy, I mean Executive VP of Tour Facilitation ,-))

In Beijing we stopped to check out the Birds Nest Stadium complex, but somehow ended up with only enough time to grab Macca’s - the only food there on offer. We then got to visit a Traditional Chinese Medicine Centre, including a free foot massage. In the evening we went out for dinner at a Peking Duck restaurant started by the ex-head chef of Beijing’s premiere duck joint. Somehow though, the “real deal” didn’t taste anywhere near as good as the food we got at the places we were eating in everyday. I’m sure this wasn’t just down to MSG either. In fact, I have to say that perhaps the best reason for joining a tour like this in China is being with someone who can read the menu and order stuff for you that you would never otherwise try. Thanks for that Andy. BBQ testes excluded. Although…. they were definitely the best gonads I’ve ever eaten ;-p

From Beijing we made our way to Tsingdao on the bullet train. Unless you have been to China (in recent times) you won’t believe how modern the infrastructure is. The train station was as big, and well appointed, as an international airport. Tsingdao used to be a German concession, which means that the Chinese ceded the town (and port) to Germany (so effectively German soil). While the Germans didn’t stay that long, it was enough to put up a brewery and leave an indelible mark on the town. Walking around the streets here you really get the feeling you could be in the suburbs of Moenchengladbach. The beach here is also used by just about every couple who get married for their wedding photos. It was quite surreal to be strolling down the beach with everyone else in tux and wedding dress (except for one couple who were getting photos taken with them in Peoples Liberation Army fatigues as a bit of a joke). Jamie discover his favourite game in the world here with our main-man super guiding facilitator dude (Andy for short) basically Jamie would yell “123 Andy” and then run with all his might to be thrown up in the air and caught again. As an expectant father, Andy sure got a taste of how much energy he’s going to need. Oh, and so did Sean before he went on to tire me out as well. It was funny on the tour around the brewery to here Jamie screaming out “123 AAAaaandy” from one side of the building and Andy echoing “123 Jamie” from the other side. Such a hard day’s work deserved a big dinner. I don’t think I will ever be able to look at a dumpling again without gagging. We must have goon through about 300 of them.